Scary to think that in less than 24 hours I'm going to be officially a high schooler. It kinda scares me. I mean the people are gonna be pretty much the same. But it's having to learn my way around a whole other school that really scares me. Are the teachers gonna be as fun as they were this year? Is freshman year gonna be as bad as I keep hearing? Is it gonna be as easy to just talk trash without really doing it? Most important,am I gonna have any of my best friends in my classes? My best friend,the one that's inseperable from me,is going to another high school. God...if me and 2 of my best MMA friends were in the same Comp. Graphics class next year...that would make me feel sooooo much better. I have the one I like and look up to,and the one I can just be me around. It would just help to be able to act normal for someone.
I admit that I know it's gonna be tough. But I think it really sank in at lunch today when E.P looked at us and said that it was gonna be our last lunch together. She let me join in the group on my second day,as the new kid. It's always hard for me to find people to sit with at lunch,so I have to find new people? It's scary. Lets just say I'm not too comfortable just starting to talk to a random person. I got to know L.E so well through texts in my first few days on the bus. Next year I'm walking to and from school,pretty much alone.
I think tward the end of the summer the best thing I can do is just man up and start talking about what keep scaring me with everyone thats going into 9th grade. Who knows,if we all have the same lunch,we could just all sit together. And I can just be myself. But is "myself" even going to be the same next year? The people I see all the time aren't gonna see a differance,but everyone else might. How much am I gonna change? Am I gonna have the same friends? It's all so confusing...
And tomarrow,I'm leaving the comfort of my Middle School,that I've known,and pretty much loved,for the past 6 months. This is new teritory. It's not...mine. I've known the parking lot for years,and the neighborhood behind the school is my neighborhood. The one we rule. The same one I've known since I was 3 years old. But it's just gonna be differant. In less than a year I'll have a learners permit,and in just about 2 years a drivers licence. Thats not my bike. And I ran the RV into the mailbox by accident. It's all just changing too soon,too fast. Before I know it,I'll be filling out collage apps and going to collage. And who knows if I'll be anywhere near the constant comfort and sanctuary of the gym I've known for almost a year now. 9 months,to be exact. I need that place soooo bad. I can just,let go,there. Get rid of whatever is bothering me physicly. I might not have that for a few years after collage. And I'm not going anywhere but a Team Assassin gym. Thats just my life. And what if I wanna fight after high school?
But right now I'm getting waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too far ahead of myself...I'm only 14. I just don't wanna grow up...
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